one time my dad cought me a horseshoe crab, and i asked him if throwin it back into the sea would bring our love back

i know, i suck, i'm a useless piece of shit,
but even though sometimes i wish i wasn't
i'm in love with you,
and when i close my eyes
i'm tracing patterns on the small of your back
and your ohsosoft hair is entangling me
tying me in sailors knots
keeping me wrapped around you forever.
but i'm scared,
cus i went to hell and back last time
i cant do it again.
so here's my new years resolution,
'I want to scream I love you from the top of my lungs,
but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me'
this year i'm not afraid.

----
one more bonus to close out 2008
heres the song i recorded with zeke for you, it'll be on itunes in a month or so and you can own a little part of me.

tentatively titled "Evander Holyfield and the Secret of My Success"

v1
sometimes i wonder why you're still around
i think you wonder that too
i hide my cocaine heart
beneath coffee ground wit
but you'll sniff me out eventually

chorus
press me between the pages of your favorite book
wear me in a locket, that you're father gave you
melt me in a candle, take a deep breath
i'll be the scent that you can't sleep without

v2
keep me posted on whatever you decide
cause i've made a record
of every time i chose to lie
it reads like a calendar
you can keep it as my will

change will come, but i will never believe in anything again

"It's hard to wake up
When the shades have been pulled shut
This house is haunted
It's so pathetic
It makes no sense at all.
I'm ripe with things to say
The words rot and fall away.
If a stupid poem could fix this home
I'd read it every day.

So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when you're dead and gone
Will you remember this night, twenty years now lost.
It's not right

Their anger hurts my ears
Been running strong for seven years
Rather than fix the problems, they never solve them
It makes no sense at all
I see them every day
We get along so why can't they?
If this is what he wants and this is what
she wants
Then why is there so much pain?"

i'm sorry if i've been distant lately
i've had a lot on my mind.
it was about this time three years ago my parents split up.
i've never really talked about it with anyone.
a part of me wants to desperately,
but the rest of me would rather pretend it didn't happen.
you talk about the old me,
but you never really knew the old me.
i guess i was always a little abrasive,
but before it happened, i wasn't like this.
i'm just a statistic now.
i'm just the byproduct of one of 50% of american marriages that fail.