iDay has arrived

here I am sitting in the iLine on the cold cement at bay street. It's not that bad, only about 7 hours to go, I cant wait to get my hands on the iPhone.

there are no elegant word plays or metaphors in this entry, its just me

I guess this is how I would blog if I weren't so desperately self involved, but we'll get to that later. I'm writing this because I feel like a piece of shit for what I'm about to do, and maybe talking about it will help. Tommorow, the almighty iPhone comes out, and I will be one of the thousands of people across the nation to line up outside an apple store to be one of the first to touch that beautiful glass screen. Seems fairly normal, but its not. This is my last day in the bay before I leave for two weeks, and there are important things I should be doing, important things I should be saying to people, but I'm not. Well to be fair, I am here saturday too, but the fall out boy show is that day. See? this is exactly my point, my love for the material is taking over my life, and slowly replacing the people I love. I wish I didn't care about fall out boy and gadgets and expensive fucking hoodies as much as I do, but it's become my escape. where's a fucking 12 step when you need one?

"i put my faith in you so much baby, and you just threw it away..."

I try so hard to make it look like I'm not trying
but now its your turn to try and hear me out.
yes, it's true that curves dont't make the woman
but if it weren't for those parabolas all these hyperboles would be in vain.
I swam to the bottom of lake
then in a series of air bubbles spoke the words "I love you"
let them float to the surface, and burst into thin air.
the oxygen, nitrogen and carbon dioxide molecules that made up those three words were slowly replaced by liquid hydrogen and oxygen as my lungs experienced what us common folk call drowning, and as those bubbles I had formed so carefully burst one by one, color and expression drained from my face, leaving this contorted look of sadness.
I hope one day I'll be able to put my smile back,
but no one can escape science.

"the capgun cowboy caught playing dress-up"

when I get sad I wrap myself up in songs to make it all seem less real
all the "i loved everything about you that hurts" and the "I won't let them take you"s
somehow make it just a little bit better.
but when I'm happy I'm just wrapped up in thoughts of you
sometimes that just makes me sad and bitter all over again
and the songs turn to "baby I'm bad news" and "widow or divorcee"
I'm embarrassed to say that I love all your mysteries
there are so many things about you that I love not knowing.

I pray that one day you will forgive me for the things I didn't do
and give me the strength to do the things I know I should.