when the moon found the sun he looked like he was barely hanging on, but her eyes saved his life, in the middle of summer

i'm not sure what the the technical definition of "recluse" is and i'm too lethargic to look it up
but i'd say by now i'm filling a solid eighty percent of the requirements.
i spend my time looking through my old pictures, my favorites all have you in them [god what a creeper]
listening to panic at the disco and frank sinatra [how original]
watching old movies [that was cool.... 50 years ago when they came out]
and reading hemingway [i got nothin for that one]
as you may or may not have postulated by now, there is a curious absence of those activities that may shed light onto my less than admirable qualities
i wish it were just for appearance's sake, but i'm genuinely ashamed of this sad, sad series of happenings and slightly premeditated occurrences that have led me here.
do you know what it's like to hate a part of yourself so much that you stop caring what happens to it?
it's like a feedback loop.
i figure my pride and dignity are long gone so a little alcohol, maybe some verbal abuse can't hurt it any more.

a thousand years from now maybe they'll look at these writings as a mummy of my love for you,
quite a feat of [verbal] engineering, but ultimately ineffective
cause no matter how much of the life i can capture with these phrases
what if they're as hollow as a pile of bones and cotton?
just like those cotton wraps couldn't keep the glory of the paroahs alive
i doubt anything i'll ever write will truly capture this love of mine.

feed your jewelry to the sea

i am completely blown away by barack obama's speech on race. whether you support him or not you should do yourself a favor an read it (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/03/18/politics/main3947908.shtml). not only does he have the best stance on almost all the big ticket policies, he actually has the right attitude to make a difference in the shitstorm we call politics because he's not just another politician. people say he's too young and he's only spent one term in congress but i'm convinced that's one of the strongest things he has going for him. we've spent 8 years dealing with a president who cared more about lobbyists and pundits than the people, enough is enough. he also has the kennedy's going for him which is a big deal for me because in my humble opinion they are collectively some of the most inspiring and talented people washington has ever seen.
ive always liked this video, maybe he can say it better than i can.

i know its sad cause i never gave a damn about the weather but it never gave a damn about me

the panic at the disco record is incredible, i fall asleep to now. the old one is great and i love it to death but it was like loud synthesized wordy pop-punk (which is totally my thing btw). this is melodic and (for lack of a better word) pretty, it says so much more while speaking so much less. every song is composed beautifully and recorded to a t. it has that quality of raw creativity that so many indie bands have but they had like a $50,000 budget so it doesn't sound like some dude threw up on a mixer, made it an mp3 and put it on the internet.
here's one of my favorite songs from it, it's called "she had the world"

She held the world upon a string
But she didn't ever hold me
Spun the stars on her fingernails
But it never made her happy

'Cause she couldn't ever have me
She said she'd won the world at a carnival
But she couldn't ever win me
'Cause she couldn't ever catch me
I, I know why
Because when I look at her eyes
I just see the sky
When I look in her eyes
Well I, just see the skies

I don't love you I'm just passing the time
You could love me if I knew how to lie
But who could love me I am out of my mind
Throwin' a line out to sea
To see if I can catch a dream

The sun was always in her eyes

She didn't even see me
But that girl had so much love
She'd wanna kiss you all the time
Yeah she's wanna kiss you all the time

She said she'd won the world at a carnival
But I'm sure it didn't ruin her
Just made her more interesting
I'm sure it didn't ruin her
Just made her more interesting

I, I know why
Because when I look at her eyes
I just see the sky
When I look in her eyes
Well I just see the sky

I don't love you I'm just passing the time
You could love me if I knew how to lie
But who could love me I am out of my mind
Throwin' a line out to sea
To see if I can catch a dream

"baby, you ain't drunk if you can lie on floor without holding on"

I just saw this a minute ago, but it is quite possibly the beautiful, heartfelt, succinct thing i have ever had the pleasure to read. i will let the author remain in their veil of anonymity.

"life is more than alright when you let yourself know it. theres not a hole in your head or your heart if you dont want there to be. its funny how people get nostalgic for the worst times in your life. people sometimes seem to miss the person i was when i was just in a self hating haze or fantasize that i miss or should miss someone who made me feel as worthwhile as a pile of dirt and spent their entire life decieving me. thanks to my friends who have let me grow into something new. i am listening to blues. i am having great conversations with friends. i am writing. i am walking the dog. i lying in the sun. i am riding a motorcycle. i am lauging. i am being in love."

fuckin brilliant.

Et, comme chaque jour je t'aime davantage, Aujourd'hui plus qu'hier et bien moins que demain

please don't hate me for being a horrible blogger, lord knows i've given you better reasons than that.

you're kinda like hydrogen peroxide to my wounds, burns like hell but always makes me feel better.