Oh, I just wish someone would try to hurt you so I could kill them for you.

today someone told me that my great grandma is in the hospital
she's not digesting food for some reason and they don't know why.
she went into surgery in the morning and i haven't heard anything since.
I need to talk to this but it seems like there's no one there to listen, which is what lead me here.
i love my great grandma so much.
she possesses the sort of unrequited kindness that is so rare these days,
and her home is one of the only places in the world where i feel truly loved.
she really is an amazing woman.
i know it shouldn't have, but hearing all this made me start thinking about death.
there are very few things i would die for in this world,
my family, a small handful of close friends, and then i got to you.
it's weird. at first i thought it was a no brainer, then i started over analyzing it.
i started thinking "would i really take a bullet for her, after everything that's happened?"
that's what got me thinkin, cause i've shot a gun, and bullets ain't no joke.
worse, i accidentally pondered on whether you would do the same for me
which really is a no brainer, but not in the fun way.
but i had a realization.
it's not about whether you would or not, because that doesn't matter.
what it's about is the fact that i couldn't live in world without you.
you are the single most intriguing and amazing person i have ever had the pleasure to meet
and you have changed my life in ways you may never understand.
my conclusion? yes, i would die for you.
so, uh, next time you've got a bullet coming your way, holla atchya boi.

[btw, the title to this post is a frank sinatra quote i read a long time a go that seemed fitting, i thought i should mention]