can't you see the grass is greener where it's raining

let me preface this post by saying that it's been a rough couple weeks.
we had a good talk and i should feel better because of it
but now i have to face all these feelings that i pretended didn't exist.
not that i ever forgot that you mean the world to me,
i just might have forgotten how much the world means to me.
i would give up my sense of sarcasm (and you know how important that is)
just to fix the mistakes i made in october, but november came and passed
let alone december, january and every other month that i've wasted being a subpar friend.

frank sinatra (yes, i know this is getting old) spent his whole life obsessing over ava gardner, the love of his life that slipped through his fingers.
maybe i can grow up to be just like him.